Happy Birthday Zazu

Today my dad is 61 years old and officially retired. Lucky him. He does not look particularly different from usual... knowing him it is just another day. And anyway he has had 3 months of practice at being retired so I guess by now he is getting used to the new way of life. I really hope that he gets a lot of time to enjoy this new stat of affairs together with my mum who retired 6 weeks ago. Both of them at home now. Well on paper that is. Because they are spending most of the day out. Good for them I say. With the lovely weather they doubtlessly have why stay cooped up indoors. I would be out and about if I could!

Sping Weather

After more than a week of depressingly dull and freezingly cold weather, today we have had a brilliant afternoon. And I mean brilliant. Blue sky and shiny blinding sun. How I love the good weather. When I told my friends I was moving to the UK, those older and wiser than me who had lived in the UK for some time told me that the weather is difficult and would get me down. I laughed them off. Because I never really liked the summers at home. Too hot and too heavy. Now, more than 3 years later, I acknowledge that I miss the nice weather and the heat. I do not so much miss the sun as the blue sky that accompanies it. And I am still not a fan of hot, sticky 40C days, but I am sure I'll appreciate them more.

Housewarming

Yesterday I went to a friend for a house warming get together. It was fun to meet up with 5 friends and speak my native tongue the whole evening. And it was a long evening because we only left at something past midnight. The house is lovely. Still somewhat empty but it will slowly slowly get filled up :) It must be great to own a house, even if you are mortgaged up to your eyeballs. There is no other way unfortunately. And if you are careful what you buy, make sure it is of good quality and like it then you can stay put for a few years and fill it up and decorate it very nicely. I like the open plan they have downstairs. Basically a sitting and dining room leading via an archway into the kitchen. White walls, cream carpet and pine parquet in the kitchen and the place is there ready to decorate it in whatever colour you want. Yes it will be nice to have a house of my own one day. And the dinner we had was fabulous. The first time I tasted parsnip - we had parsnip soup - and I really liked it. I must get some soup recipes and do some cooking... and then we talked and talked and talked and watched a move. Music and lyrics, an overly long chick flick. Not anything to write home about even though it was sweet. But they stretched it out too much. It could have been a good bit shorter and still delivered the whole plot.

By the time I got home the heating in the house was off. Luckily my bedroom stays relatively warm and I did not freeze to death. I slept maybe 6 hrs this night and this morning I had so much energy! Unbelievable. And now it is the weekend and I am so looking forward to it. I want to do some shopping which is not the necessary weekly grocery shopping and I want to go walking a bit provided it is not freezing cold. And I hope I manage to find some time and the will to do some work as well because I should put together the backbone of a paper by Thursday. Wish me luck! I'll need it.

Ranting

Today I had one of those rants. My poor supervisor who gets to listen to me. It is not his fault. It is the PI who goes on adding things to my to do list at a time when I should be taking things off the list and trying to finish off.
I sat down to start tackling a few things today and suddenly starting feeling a bit fragile (nerves) with all I have to do and juggle and try to keep abreast of. All I want to do is get on with my labwork with a few nice safe genes I have selected. With the PI wants is for me to do more analysis, wait for people who are doing other types of analyses to finish and then select a few risky, unknown genes to work on. But I do not have the time. So I say yes and try to cope and then at times I freak out and go have a rant. It does not help my image much I think.
However, the work I am doing now has worked out nicely and I am pleased. I have also struck a fair few things off my list of administrative things to do. I'll get more I am sure but I'm hoping to keep my head above the water... fingers crossed.

Oh, yes. It is also very cold. One would not believe it is the first day of spring. The daffodils and hyacinths are all out but the warmth is still far far away.

Settling In

I am not very good at this. When nothing crazy happens I totally forget to write. And right now everything is thankfully quite. I'm settling back into the routine of PhD work, getting used to the new house and the new neighbours and generally trying to keep awake long enough of an evening to ensure I sleep through the night and not wake up at the crack of dawn.
Yesterday we watched The Queen. Very insightful. I do not know if it is very accurate as well but it was quite entertaining. The company was very good too. It is nice to catch up with friends and acquaintances especially since they were all so very helpful 2 weeks ago.
Work is moving on slowly but surely. Today I did some analysis and plotted some graphs and it has made me feel ridiculously happy. There is nothing like seeing possible results accumulating :)

Back in Cambridge

This is crazy. Totally crazy. I am back in Cambridge after only a week away and with my dad not having had his bypass operation. The surgeon (!!!) he spoke with on Thursday had totally disregarded the fact that my father suffers from sleeping apnea. The surgeon who was going to do the operation noticed it in his file, and I think my mum pointed it out too, and sent him straight back home. It is apparently too risky. Once he is anaesthetised there is no guarantee they would be able to wake him up again. Besides my dad has horrible veins (just like me) and the surgeon was not sure he could find a suitable varicose vein to use. So my dad has to lose something like 30kg before they will again consider the possibility of carrying our this operation. Luckily his arterial blockages are not so bad. We have all had a VERY narrow escape and I am so grateful. I am also mad at that first surgeon who, if he goes on like this, will kill a few people! At home we spent most of the week going out for walks. The weather was passable on 5 days and fabulous the rest of them. On Friday instead of the hospital's waiting room we went off to Gozo and had a lovely relaxed day. Thank God it has all gone well even though it is by no means finished business.

Going home

Yesterday was one of those days the like of which I do not want to go through again. However, it did show me how good people can be.

My father called at about 10.30 am to tell me of his hospital visit. The big shock. He is having his bypass (a triple bypass most likely) on the 16th. That is only 7 days away. And suddenly my world crumbled around me. I had not been expecting this for the next 6 months. I had plans to get a lot of work done and be all ready to go home for as long as needed with a clean conscience. Instead it all happens just when the work is starting up again and is piling up. It cannot be helped. I am going home now and the work will get done later. Everyone at the lab was very very very kind and understanding and the best ever. My supervisor took me off for a coffee to calm me down, then to the prof so we could tell him I was off for some time. Everybody just said to pack up and go and take as much time as needed. So I am off today - the earliest flight I could get - and will be back after Easter. Hopefully it will all be well over by then.

In the afternoon I had to finish moving house, wash all my clothes and unpack and settle down in the new place. I managed to throw away so much stuff. It is unbelievable. In the end I managed to pack in a borrowed bag (I had thrown away all my suitcases 2 weeks ago) and a few boxes and plastic bags. I still have way too much stuff. Sarah brought her car round and we moved everything in one load. And Claudia came to help me unpack. The people in the new house were lovely. They helped me carry everything up and then kept us company, fed us ice cream etc etc. Poor Claudia stayed here till gone midnight but by the time she left all my things were unpacked and in place. I only had a pile of clothes to tumble dry. Which I have been doing all of today. I managed to tumble dry almost all I posses. In the end I ran out of time and had to leave a couple of things. No matter. Then I went shopping and bought myself a new piece of luggage and some small things for the people at home. Now I am waiting for the taxi to pick me up in 40 min. Then off on the bus to the airport and finally home...

Moving House

Well the move has started. It is going very very slowly right now because about a week ago I threw out my suitcases which where in a pitiful state and I have not had time to buy new ones yet. So far I am packing things in plastic bags, garbage bags, a small overnight bag and my laundry bag. Crazy if you ask me.
Today I have managed to move across most of my food and kitchenware, my full lenght mirror (because my new room has no mirror!) and some pictures to start personalising the place. But it is all so fresh and newly painted that I am feeling bad about sticking pictures to wall with blue tac. I do not want to ruin the paintwork. It is therefore proving to be an imaginative endavour finding wooden surfaces to which to stick the pictures. So far so good but I have loads more to go...
I have used the kitchen here for the first time today. I really must get a picture of it. It is fab and so comfy to use. I am seeing myself starting to take pleasure in cooking again. As well as not eating in my room which lately had started to become a daily habit. Pity nobody else was having dinner at the same time. I hope I manage to get to have some company for dinner one day soon.

Lab today was an unexpected experience. My supervisor asked me to attend a meeting and I did, thinking I would be able to sit in the background and listen with maybe a little bit of input. Ha ha ha. The first thing he said when we got there was if I'd give a short talk about my work! I mean he had not let me know beforehand to prepare a talk. Thank God He had put it into my mind to take a copy of my generic not for biologists talk with me on USB stick. It saved my life, or rather my pride and dignity. It went well and the meeting was interesting but I have ended up with a pile of more work to do and I can barely cope with what I already have on the list. The list which does not really exist and I'd better sit down and put it together!

The new rooms

Well, the new rooms are still very bare. And I found out that they have just been vacated, like right now because who had them found a flat. I also met 3 of the 5 people I am sharing with. They seem like a nice bunch but more of them tomorrow maybe.

Today has been hectic. Labwork seems promising but my dad is not so well. He will need a bypass at some point in time. After he loses weight so it is still some time in the future. Still it needs to be done and it is not something I am looking forward to. Needless to say I had a few good cries. I got some hugs too so now I feel better. I am also knackered so this will be a short entry and I am off to try and catch some sleep.

The first day

This is the first day, but only of this blog. Because of course many days have passed before this. It is no special day really unless you count my move tomorrow. How this all came about is a long story. I am studying and living in beautiful Cambridge. I had always wanted to be here and to do what I am doing. Things, of course, never turn out perfectly the way one imagines them but this has come close, very close.
However, the human nature is such that one always imagines the rosy aspects of life. Nobody takes the time to think of the down times, when you have worries, things are not going as well as you had hoped... that sort of thing. I am currently passing through such a sticky patch. I guess it could be worse, I do not know, all I know is that for a couple of days I was nearing the edge. And it was too close for comfort. It was the lack of sleep that made it so.
It was a combination of things. I am working hard but my research does not feel as if it is moving along at all. My Dad is unfortunately not too well and will need an operation and I am worried sick. I have been going home way too often and so the homesickness does not die out. And I was becoming paranoid about biting insects, lice, fleas, bugs, the works. The final straw was when the heel of my favourite shoe broke. This might belittle it all but sometimes it is the little, unimportant, irrelevant thing that breaks you.
This winter has been very mild and the usually cold weather that kills all the nasty mosquitos and midges did not happen. And mosquitos find me very tasty. I live (it will be lived, tomorrow) right on the river Cam. It must be one of the most enviable places to live in for miles around. The house's foundations are in the waters of the river right in the centre of the town. This places me right on the windowsill, as it were, of all water loving mosquitos. And they were making a feast of me. So much so that I started freaking out and thinking I had fleas or some such nasty thing. And I stopped sleeping at night. There was one memorable night that I tried to sleep on the bathroom floor. That lasted all of 2 hours till I was so stiff it was almost all I could do to crawl back to bed.
Since then (a bit over a week) I have had the pest control people in twice to check the place out and they always say it is not anything in the room, it is the nasty insects that come in off the river. So I have decided that painful though it is I have to move to preserve my sanity.
College has very kindly given me a room about 200m away but safely away from the river. The views from my windows are nowhere near as fabulous but instead of 1 big room I get 2 smaller ones so I can have a separate study and bedroom. I find this very cool and an upgrade on all the rooms I have had as a student. Now all I need to aim for is to have my own bathroom. Ah the joys of not having to share facilities.
I am enjoying such joys now. Because until the new room is ready I have been temporarily put up in a guest room. And this has its own bathroom. Lovely luxurious baths every night.
In the meantime I am not being pestered by insects any more and have had 2 full nights of blessed sleep, the shoe shop has changed my shoes for a new pair, I have started labwork again today so it feels like things are moving again and tomorrow my Dad will have his test so we'll know exactly what needs to be done. My Dad's results will most likely say that he will need an operation but at least we will know how soon and how serious. It will not be easy but it will be better than the suspense.
And this is why I decided to keep a blog. Saying things out helps to work them out of the system. There is not anyone I would care to worry with all of this right now. Or at least not anyone who does not have enough worries of their own that I can go and pile mine on their shoulders too. I have told different bits to different people and they were all extremely supportive, but it is nice to pour your heart out all in one spot. So this blog will be my friend where I say all and get relief. I really wish I could keep it personal, just like a diary.
It will be an eye opener to revisit it again later and look at things from a different perspective.
So, after this long rant, I'll go and pick up a couple of bags in which I can start packing my stuff ready for the imminent move. I think the next entry will be from my new, but very bare, room.
Next time it will be shorter. I promise.